Hey girls, just feeling like writing a little post here. 3 months ago I was at the operating room, after they gave me the anesthesia and told me that, that would feel like I had a lot of wine (which totally did, was the best part of the process...lol) I passed out. Woke up a couple hours later just to find out that everything was done. At the time I though that I was going to be okay after going through a 3 hour procedure and having my uterus opened like it was nothing. I sure was wrong.
Today I realize that, that was just the beginning of the fight, or I should say war. 3 months after the surgery, and I am still having huge cramps, not as bad as was before but still bad, I am still unable to have intercourse without pain, and now I developed some kind of bladder issues, which is funny cause when I went back to my doctor she told me that I might have something called Interstitial Cystitis, but I've never had bladder problems before, I don't want to think that it is related to the surgery itself, but it kinda feels like it is. I am making a couple changes on my diet, little by little. It is frustrated that whole sugar free, wheat free, dairy free and alcohol free diet. Not sure if I will be able to risk those things out of my life, but I will try to reduce.
I am still trying to find energy to think positive and keep my chin up, but there are days that I just want to give up. Having my whole family in Brazil makes things harder, yes it does. With all of this I am feeling so homesick. I have my husband which he makes me happy most of at the time, being supportive and understanding but at other times I am sure that he is tired of dealing with this. My hormones are up and down, sometimes I cry for no reason, I feel hopeless, worthless, and all the less stuff. I know I need to be strong (at least I keep telling this to myself) but it is hard. I really feel that some of my friends do not understand what's going on, and of course they don't, for people in general it is like: "she had a surgery, so she should be okay, maybe she likes attention". But we know, it is not that simple. Having a chronic disease is so debilitating, that's why I really want to let people know about it and inform themselves, maybe help some young girl that has being dealing with endometriosis without knowing.
Anyway, this was supposed to be just a short post, sorry I got carried away. Wishing you all the best, and let's not give up. We have each other. (talking about the girls at www.weareendo.org)
Val
I am so sorry that we share this horrible disease! It is difficult for people to relate and understand what this disease does to us. I know we have never met in person but I want you to know I will always be here if you need a understanding ear to tell you it is not fair and it totally sucks! There is a bond just from sharing such an awful disease. I hope that you are able to find some relief soon! I also wanted to let you know that bladder problems can totally be from the surgery. When they fill your abdomen with the gases and then poke around they can shift how the bladder is sitting. Just another lovely effect of Endo. I really hope the physical therapy helps. Also I don't know if I had told you but if you are able to get acupuncture it can really help! I did it because a friend offered to pay for me to go so I thought I am desperate. it gave me enough relief to sleep the last few days before my surgery! My thoughts and prayers are with you!
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