Friday, May 21, 2010

3 months since the diagnose (surgery)

Hey girls, just feeling like writing a little post here. 3 months ago I was at the operating room, after they gave me the anesthesia and told me that, that would feel like I had a lot of wine (which totally did, was the best part of the I passed out. Woke up a couple hours later just to find out that everything was done. At the time I though that I was going to be okay after going through a 3 hour procedure and having my uterus opened like it was nothing. I sure was wrong.
Today I realize that, that was just the beginning of the fight, or I should say war. 3 months after the surgery, and I am still having huge cramps, not as bad as was before but still bad, I am still unable to have intercourse without pain, and now I developed some kind of bladder issues, which is funny cause when I went back to my doctor she told me that I might have something called Interstitial Cystitis, but I've never had bladder problems before, I don't want to think that it is related to the surgery itself, but it kinda feels like it is. I am making a couple changes on my diet, little by little. It is frustrated that whole sugar free, wheat free, dairy free and alcohol free diet. Not sure if I will be able to risk those things out of my life, but I will try to reduce.
I am still trying to find energy to think positive and keep my chin up, but there are days that I just want to give up. Having my whole family in Brazil makes things harder, yes it does. With all of this I am feeling so homesick. I have my husband which he makes me happy most of at the time, being supportive and understanding but at other times I am sure that he is tired of dealing with this. My hormones are up and down, sometimes I cry for no reason, I feel hopeless, worthless, and all the less stuff. I know I need to be strong (at least I keep telling this to myself) but it is hard. I really feel that some of my friends do not understand what's going on, and of course they don't, for people in general it is like: "she had a surgery, so she should be okay, maybe she likes attention". But we know, it is not that simple. Having a chronic disease is so debilitating, that's why I really want to let people know about it and inform themselves, maybe help some young girl that has being dealing with endometriosis without knowing.
Anyway, this was supposed to be just a short post, sorry I got carried away. Wishing you all the best, and let's not give up. We have each other. (talking about the girls at


Monday, May 17, 2010 "a warm day" by Valeria Tennyson "a warm day" by Valeria Tennyson: "H&M Jeans Skirt, H&M Tank Top"

minhas melissas. love it!

An awesome weekend in Port Townsend!

Hubby and I left home around 1pm on the past Friday to spend the weekend in PT for Rhody festival and his high school reunion. The weekend was perfect, everybody was getting drunk but since I couldn't do it, I only had 2 glasses of wine and was fine. Was great to hang out with old friends and to meet new ones. Sometimes we just need a weekend getaway to forget about the problems, relax and have a good time, and we did that. These pictures I took when we were at the ferry in Edmonds on a pretty sunny day!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

summer dress

My mom gave me this dress the day I leff Brazil, never had a chance to use it, maybe because the weather in Seattle doesn't help. But yesterday was a somewhat warmer day, so I figured to try it on and I love it.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

thanks mom!

trying to make outfits with the clothes that I already have

difficult times.

Times are difficult, without a job we can't do much. I noticed that my old friends are going out without asking if I'd like to join them, that made me feel really upset but I will survive. I am searching for jobs and I am sure that soon enough I will be making some money to help out my husband pay the bills and so I can go shopping as well...haha
At least I am feeling a lot better since I started the physical therapy post surgery. I can feel some improvement in the pain, and finally I am starting to get out of the house, I don't know why but for some reason I got so used to be at home, I was feeling like it was my safe place. I think that was normal, I spent 2 months mostly at home, because I was in pain, recovering and no money. But I am sure that my life will soon be back on track and a job should be on its way.
Today I went to the mall trying to find a gift to send to my mom and my mother-in-law, ended up coming home with empty hands, I will try a different mall tomorrow, and hopefully I will find something. It was hard to walk in those stores knowing that I couldn't buy anything for me. Oh well, tough it up. This is what I was wearing today. Talk to you guys soon :-)

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

cute look!

thinking of fashion

Hi everyone, this week I decided to learn more about fashion, which it is kinda funny because when I was growing up I was pretty much a tomboy, always playing soccer and rollerblading, but now I am interested in learning about fashion and make up, specially cause it will be good to take my mind away from the surgery that I am still recovering from. Some pictures following up soon :-)